My Confessions As A New Mom

         My Confessions As A New Mom

When I first found out that I was expecting, I was 19 years old, and I think I felt just like any other teen mom (I assume). Nervous, in denial, excited, and scared. I took 7 pregnancy tests before I came to terms with that I was, indeed pregnant. I had just graduated from high school the year before, not in college (for other reasons I won't discuss now), and beginning a new job. I had no idea what I was going to do or where to even begin.


 I often hear other teen moms say that they are/were afraid of what others would think or say, but I wasn't afraid of that, and I'm not afraid of that now. What I was most afraid of was that I wouldn't be good enough for my baby. That I wouldn't be able to take care of her the way I so badly wanted to. All I could think about was that ever since I was a little girl, I knew that one day I wanted to be a mother. What I didn't know was that it would be so soon. But on that day I made up my mind. I would do my absolute best to take care of this little human, and I would love her more than anything in the world.




For 9 months I battled with minor depression, anxiety, and morning sickness (or should I say, all day sickness). I felt like a piece of crap just about everyday. My significant other, Dorian was a daydream and a nightmare all at once. Needless to say, my pregnancy wasn't a breeze. But like every one told me, it was all worth it!




Ava was born February 3, 2018. She is my greatest joy! But, of course, a new baby brings new worries. Since having Ava, my anxiety has increased and I still battle post-partum depression. I have been going strong with breastfeeding Ava for 21 months (pat on the back), and breastfeeding in itself is a challenge. I have to constantly remind myself that I am doing what I think is best for her and that this is a beautiful and natural thing. I also have to remember that every one parents differently, so I will be given advice that I don't want or necessarily need, and that unfortunately, "mom-shamers" are EVERYWHERE. I don't think that I could do this, though, without all the support and love that I am receiving from friends and family.


Parenting, so far, has been challenging and yet rewarding. Every time I have to face challenges like whether or not I want my daughter to have a flu shot (yes, it's harder than some may think), or what foods to feed her, etc. she does something so incredible and I'm reminded to relax and enjoy being her mom. I've realized that I can mess up, by my own standards, and Ava will still think I'm a super mom. She loves me unconditionally and that is all I should ever worry about.


I wanted to share these confessions because I have joined several groups on Facebook, and I've read stories about "mom guilt" (which I get every now and then), and I wanted to let other moms (or even dads) know that you will not always get this parenting thing right. All that matters is that your children are happy, healthy and taken care of. I became a mom at 19, faced judgment and every thing else you can think of, but here I am almost 2 years into the "mom life" and I can't imagine it without my sweet girl.


So keep being the best mommies and daddies you can be. The nights are long, and the days are short. Enjoy every minute, especially while they are young.


If you know any moms or dads who need encouragement, share this post with them and the link to my blog as I will be posting more confessions about my life as a first time mom!